Bullying at Work How to Confront and Overcome It, 11 Tips

What is bullying at work and how to confront and overcome it? The Workplace Bullying Institute's alarming data reveals that almost one-third of American adults endure workplace bullying, marking a disheartening 57% increase from 2017. A staggering 79.3 million individuals find themselves impacted by this distressing phenomenon, encompassing both bullied employees and bystanders.

When one scales these percentages to encompass the estimated 158 million Americans presently part of the workforce, the gravity of the issue becomes apparent. Workplace bullying emerges as one of the most pervasive forms of workplace harassment, a deeply concerning aspect worth further exploration.

The manifestations of workplace bullying encompass nonverbal, verbal, psychological, and even physical forms of abuse. Bullies can occupy diverse positions within the organization, from bosses and negative coworkers to troublesome clients. The scope for bullying at work is wide, affecting various aspects of the workplace environment.

Unaddressed workplace bullying precipitates an array of individual, organizational, and societal repercussions. Among them, higher rates of job turnover, increased sickness absences, early retirements, diminished work quality, and mental health struggles prevail, posing significant challenges.

Fostering a workplace culture that unequivocally rejects bullying is imperative to prevent internal strife among employees. However, this approach isn't entirely foolproof, as evidenced by the unsettling statistics mentioned earlier. Even the most progressive environments may harbor a few rotten eggs.

For those grappling with workplace bullies, finding effective ways to confront and stand up to them becomes crucial. Establishing a bully-free workplace necessitates collective efforts, empowering individuals to take a stand for themselves and others. Through courage, determination, and collaborative action, the workplace can transform into a healthier, more respectful domain.

What Does Bullying at Work Seem Like? 

Bullying, a form of aggressive behavior, involves the intentional and repetitive infliction of intimidation, threats, or humiliation on another individual. When this type of conduct takes root in the workplace, it constitutes workplace bullying, characterized by three primary defining features.

The first feature centers around exposure to negative social behaviors, encompassing both work-related and personal-related actions. Work-related behaviors may manifest as excessive monitoring, misjudgment of work quality, or the imposition of unmanageable workloads. On the other hand, personal-related behaviors entail spreading rumors, verbal abuse, social isolation, and persistent criticism.

Given its broad definition, workplace bullying can assume a variety of forms in a professional setting. Depending on its severity, it might escalate into sexual harassment, discrimination, or even a combination of both.

The second defining feature lies in the frequency and duration of exposure to these negative behaviors. Frequency denotes the number of occurrences of such negative acts, while duration refers to the duration of each act.

The third feature revolves around the power disparity existing between the perpetrator and the victim. This discrepancy may stem from the perpetrator's formal power, such as their organizational position, or from informal power, such as social support or experience.

Particularly concerning is the realm of virtual work, where bullying poses a potent threat. Shockingly, 43.2% of remote workers report experiencing bullying, with bullies leveraging the safety of screens to perpetrate their misconduct.

How to confront and overcome Bullying at Work

To combat workplace bullying effectively and professionally, implementing protective measures becomes essential. Addressing the issue promptly can prevent it from festering and spreading. Moreover, recognizing that you might not be the only target, it becomes imperative to take the necessary steps to mitigate this pressing issue.

Tip 1: Prioritize Your Mental Well-being

Thankfully, as a society, we are gradually moving away from the old adage of "pull yourself up by your bootstraps." It is no longer expected for us to grapple with our thoughts and feelings in isolation. Mental health is shedding its stigma and has become a topic that is openly discussed and acknowledged.

In essence, you don't have to face your struggles alone.

Speaking up about bullying can be intimidating, and feelings of embarrassment may arise. Moreover, if the bully holds a position of authority, the fear of job loss looms large. However, allowing bullying to persist unchecked can lead to lasting negative effects on both your mental and physical well-being.

Care for yourself by seeking appropriate support. This might entail consulting with a mental health professional, spending quality time with loved ones, and engaging in activities outside of work to rebuild your self-assurance.

If reporting the bullying feels daunting or premature, focus on finding activities that bring you happiness and invest in your mental and physical health outside of work to bolster your resilience in the meantime.

Tip 2: Initiate a Conversation with Your Manager

If you prefer not to make a formal complaint to Human Resources but still wish to make someone aware of the situation, consider confiding in your manager or supervisor.

Let them in on what's transpiring, how you've attempted to handle the issue, and what resolution you seek. After all, part of their job responsibility includes listening to and addressing workplace concerns.

At the very least, this ensures your manager is cognizant of the situation, enabling them to take necessary actions if your performance falters or if team morale is affected. Moreover, they can keep a vigilant eye out for any inappropriate or aggressive behavior and intervene promptly.

Tip 3: Respond with Unyielding Kindness

Let me preface this section by clarifying that using the term "kill" may not align with the essence of this blog post - it's an idiom, and I'm being facetious. Now, let's delve into the profound power of kindness. In the professional realm, kindness wields unparalleled strength. If you remain composed, neutral, and true to your organization's ultimate objectives, you can emerge victorious in a bullying scenario almost every time. When faced with a bullying incident at work, a kind, and professional response can work wonders. Not only will witnesses view you as the "bigger person," but you also set a positive tone for the workplace. Remember, "kindness is contagious."

Tip 4: Familiarize Yourself with Company Policies

Ideally, your organization should have robust policies in place to combat bullying, mistreatment, and abuse. However, since bullying is not explicitly illegal, some companies might neglect the implementation of formal policies to address it. Nevertheless, it is prudent to refer to your employee handbook to ascertain whether it contains any provisions that address workplace values and expectations, particularly concerning bullying. 

This can provide you with a solid starting point and strengthen your case should you decide to file a complaint. If no policy exists or if the existing one requires updates, do not shy away from discussing this with your manager or human resources department. If a policy is already in place, follow the prescribed protocols to report the bullying, secure in the knowledge that you have written documentation to support your claim!

Career Guide

Tip 5: Confront the Issue Head-On

Sometimes, the most effective approach is to directly address the bully.

Stand up for yourself, and communicate confidently and assertively to reclaim control of the situation. Remember, this is not a playground recess; maintain your professionalism and address the conflict rationally.

Embrace the wisdom of Obi-Wan Kenobi and choose the higher ground. There's no need to stoop to the bully's level, as it will only fan the flames. Express how their actions make you feel, and assert your boundaries firmly.

Tip 6: Engage Human Resources

In the vast expanse of your organization, chances are you're not alone in grappling with this disconcerting behavior. If confronting the bully head-on leaves you uneasy, who can step in to mediate? Ah, Human Resources, that's their purpose after all.

An entity designed to address workplace issues, they exist to ensure employee well-being.

Should the path of a formal complaint with HR seem like the most prudent course of action in your battle with the bully, be sure to accentuate the negative ramifications it has inflicted on your productivity, well-being, and overall morale within the company.

Tip 7: Seek Legal Counsel

Navigating the intricate boundary between bullying and harassment can be treacherous terrain. It's vital to bear in mind that while harassment is deemed unlawful, bullying itself is not.

Now, how does one discern between the two when their appearances often intertwine?

Harassment extends to mistreatment based on immutable traits such as sex, race, religion, national origin, color, age, or genetic information. Should negative comments or hostile behavior not align with any of these protected categories, they may be in bad taste but not legally actionable.

However, if the bullying you endure falls under the umbrella of harassment by legal definition and your efforts to resolve the issue within the workplace have been exhausted, it might be judicious to seek counsel from an attorney. Understand that this course of action may entail substantial time and financial investment, yet the intangible value of peace of mind cannot be overestimated.

In instances where the situation has escalated to the point where legal intervention becomes a viable option, embarking on a lawsuit becomes a consideration.

Tip 8: Maintain a Detailed Record of Abuse and Performance

Documentation is paramount in any situation involving bullying. This practice not only allows you to create a comprehensive timeline of events, showcasing any patterns but also aids in recalling crucial details that might otherwise slip from memory.

Save emails, text messages, and maintain a written log of instances when you've experienced bullying from a coworker.

Include the following details if possible:

- Dates

- Times

- Locations

- Names of witnesses

Additionally, document your work performance, noting significant milestones and any commendations received from supervisors, coworkers, or clients. This ensures you have evidence in the event the bully attempts to falsely accuse you of inadequacy or unprofessionalism. Remember, there's no such thing as having too much evidence in any case.

Tip 9: Shield Yourself from Taking Things Personally

I can already sense your skepticism - how can you not take it personally when you're being bullied on a personal level? Indeed, this tip is easier uttered than accomplished. However, it is crucial to bear in mind that bullying often emanates from places of deep-seated insecurity. Research has revealed that people resort to bullying as a means to cope with their own stress and inadequacies. Armed with this understanding, you can internalize this knowledge and deploy it as a means to disengage from personalizing the bullying you endure.

Tip 10: Harness the Power of Motivation

While ambitious, this tip holds significant value and warrants its mention. Studies have shown that bullies often target individuals they perceive as superior to them, which frequently includes high-performing employees. Hence, if you find yourself as a target of bullying, chances are you stand as one of your organization's finest performers. Embrace this knowledge as a motivational tool, driving yourself to maintain your rockstar status in the workplace. However, heed the cautionary note I shared earlier - if the situation escalates, the subsequent tips in this blog should be your guide.

Tip 11: Consider Departing

Above all else, your mental health and well-being deserve paramount consideration. When every avenue of recourse appears barren, and progress remains elusive, it may be time to explore new horizons.

Ensuring that the organization you serve values the welfare of its employees and acts decisively against bullying holds profound significance.